CPAC Hilarity

The Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) recently went down in National Harbor, Maryland. For those who don't know, which is likely few of your judging by the typical reader of this site, CPAC is the annual conservative circle jerk. The only thing that really happens there that people care about is the audition for potential Republican presidential candidates. While the conference itself is boring and of little consequence to those outside of Republican politics there is one redeeming feature, the Craigslist ads that appear for that area during the conference:

Ask anyone who lives in the D.C. area about Craigslist when CPAC is in town. They will tell you that the casual encounters ads are rife with attendees looking for some weekend love.

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CPAC – I need a MAN. NOW! – m4m – 36 (CPAC convention)

Okay. So. I spend so much time in rural Indiana, CPAC is my only outlet for this sort of thing.

What I’m looking for, you, a masculine Ayn Rand, me, the 47%. And I want you to slap me around hard and give it to me good.

Or. . .you could bust in my room, catch me trying to enroll in a healthcare market place/state exchange, and the punish me for it. Punish me good.

We can meet at the bar first, if you want. I will be wearing khakis and a navy blue blazer. (possibly a joke but fun anyway)

[...]

@CPAC looking for my Allen West – m4m (CPAC)

Patriots!

What an incredible day today was! Christie and Jindal and some great sessions. I am ready to unwind and have some fun. I am looking to make one of my biggest fantasies come true.

Me: Police Uniform

You: Army Uniform

I want you to bring a couple other guys for this fantasy too!

We begin by you storming into my room with the other guys. The other guys will proceed to beat me (paddles, whips, floggers is up to them! or be creative ;-)

After I have been beaten, I want you to threaten my life and tell me that I am going to die for what I did. I got a nerf gun for this fantasy and I want you to blindfold me and place a garbage can next to me.

Here is the most important part…

Shoot the nerf gun at the garbage can and NOT me. I want to feel like you are going to shoot me but at the last moment you do not.

It may seem like a crazy fantasy but we all have our kinks

Afterwards we can hj, bj and a2m

Photos of the type of man I am looking for and of the nerf gun

With how much time most conservatives spend worrying about men and women who enjoy sex with others of the same gender it's pretty damned funny to see ads like this appear during CPAC. I know that these ads could be posted by some "evil liberals" as an attempt to make the "moral conservatives" look bad but it doesn't matter; these ads are comedy gold whether they're real or just part of somebody's Operation Mindfuck.