Nipping the Sauron Problem in The Bud

Zero tolerance police in schools have lead to some very interesting suspensions. One student was famously suspended for eating a Pop-Tart into the shape of a gun. Another student was suspended for drawing a firearm. And we all probably remember the student who was suspended for making a gun with his fingers. But it seems these zero tolerance policies have reached a new absurdity. A student in Texas was just suspended for claiming to have the One Ring:

Tolkien lore led a Texas boy to suspension after he brought his “one ring” to school.

Kermit Elementary School officials called it a threat when the 9-year-old boy, Aiden Steward, in a playful act of make-believe, told a classmate he could make him disappear with a ring forged in fictional Middle Earth’s Mount Doom.

We'll have none of your shenanigans little Sauron! At this point I can only guess what the next zero tolerance suspension will be. Perhaps a student will be suspended for bringing Mjölnir to class. Or maybe a student will get suspended for bringing a cardboard Excalibur. Now that students are being suspended for mythical weapons the options are limitless!