Poroposed Assembler Opcodes
Obviously this is only going to apply to the truly geeky watching this and most of those people have already seen this but it's still funny. Some of the opcodes I really like and would find useful:
BAC - BRANCH TO ALPHA CENTAURI
You never know when you'll have to branch to data on Alpha Centauri. Heck I'd use this all the time.
CH - CREATE HAVOC
Regardless of what some people believe this instruction doesn't actually exist in your computer.
CMD - COMPARE MEANINGLESS DATA
Hey look it's Al Gore's opcode!
DBZ - DIVIDE BY ZERO
This would solve a lot of crashes created by new programmers.
ECO - ELECTROCUTE COMPUTER OPERATOR
Oh if only I had this instruction available when people called me for computer help.
HCF - HALT AND CATCH FIRE
Good instruction for the truly paranoid out there.
MWAG - MAKE WILD-ASSED GUESS
Al Gore's other beloved instruction.
UP - UNDERSTAND PROGRAM
If only that existed.
For those of you who aren't computer geeks realize this is the type of humor that some of use laugh at. Yet I know it's sad.